1. Read the poem 

2. Do your own reflection on it, noting what it inspires in you

3. Feel free to use your own reflection as your prompt or…

4. Use the selection of prompts below the poem

5. Pick one that inspires you and write (feel free to use only one or write several poems using different prompts) or…

6. Don’t use any of the provided prompts and follow your inspiration from wherever it comes

If You Want A True Friend

Just open your hands and say, “I don’t know.”
Say it softly and wait, so your other can see
that you mean it. Give them a chance to
drop what they think is secret. Let them
come up with a cup of what matters from
the spring they show no one. Let them sigh
and admit that they don’t know either. Then
you can begin with nothing in the way. Go
on. Admit to the throb you carry in your
heart. And let the journey begin.

—Mark Nepo
From the book, The Way Under The Way
https://marknepo.com

Please join Writing From The Inside Out by attending the read-around sessions on Thursday afternoons. It’s free, fun, a great way to share, and reading a poem is optional. If you have not registered, click the button below; and if you have registered, you do not need to register again, simply use the link sent to you in your confirmation email. Register Here:

Next Read-Around isThursday, December 8, 2022 at 5:00 PM

My Thoughts

What does it take to move someone in your mind from “acquaintance” to “friend” and from “friend” to “close friend”? One factor is likely to be time. Research on friendship indicates that it generally takes 40-80 hours of time together to make casual friends and up to 200 hours to make close friends. Then, there is that special category of “true” friends: the ones for whom you are that bridge over troubled waters for each other. True, however, could also mean genuine. Mark Nepo’s poem, If you Want A True Friend, suggests that true friendship also occurs when we engage with another with nothing in the way; when we drop what we think is secret and share “a cup of what matters from the spring we show no one;” when we allow ourselves to explore who we “truly” are with each other and engage in journey of genuine discovery about ourselves and each other.

Prompt Menu

1. Journal or write a poem about friendship: what moves a person from acquaintance to friend in your heart and mind?

2. Journal or write a poem about kinds or levels of friendship—casual friends, close friends, dear friends, fairweather frineds, fast friends, etc.

3. In what way is friendship actually a journey? Describe the journey or gve a map of the terrain: does it pass through misty boggs or desert canyons? Does it have danger zones and toxic wastelands? Narrow passages and wide open vistas?Is it all mountain meadows and flowers in blossom? What are its seasons, its weather patterns? What is its economy and trade regulations?

4. What is a true friend? How might a “true” friend be different than a “close” friend or a longtime friend? Can someone be a true friend without having spent much time together?

5. Journal or write a poem about what it means to “drop what you think is secret.” Use the prompt, “When I drop what I think is secret, I…” What happens when you contextualize it by placing it in a specific relationship: “When I drop what I think is secret with you, I…”

6. Consider a time when you shared, or someone shared with you, “a cup of what matters from the spring they show no one.” Describe the cup, the contents, the taste, and what experience it might evoke to sip from the cup of what matters. Or describe the hidden spring—is it in the high mountians where few are willing to go? Is it hidden deep in the jungle? Buried in a cave? Bubbling up from the depts of the sea? What makes it worth keeping secret? What is the risk of sharing it?

7. Journal or write a poem about what it is like to be in that vulnerable space of “not knowing;” to truly say to another person, “I don’t know” and mean it.

8. What throb do you carry in your heart? You can use the prompt, The throb I carry in my heart wants me to admittop a friend that… Or change throb to ache and complete the prompt, In frindship, my heart aches for…

9. As usual, write about anything else that inspires you from the poem or from life.